笑话是人们生活中的调味剂，它们能够给我们带来欢乐，缓解压力，以下是一些最新的英文笑话，希望能让你开怀一笑：
1、Teacher: Kevin, why are you late for school?
Kevin: Because of the sign.
Teacher: The sign?
Kevin: Yes, "School Ahead, Go Slow".
2、Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally, his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.
After several hours, the two men of the family come back, smiling and tired.
"So how was it?" his mother asked.
"Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?"
"Yeah, we did," his father replied. "Especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to one!"
3、Little Johnny's teacher asked the class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny said, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch home, get to the top."
The teacher, shocked, and holding back the tears of laughter, said: "Well, Little Johnny, I have to tell you something."
Little Johnny's confused, "What is it, teacher?"
The teacher replied: "You'll never amount to anything if you keep on asking shit like that."
4、Little Johnny got a new bike for his birthday and was so excited that he decided to ride it to school the next day.
When he arrived at school, a crowd of his friends gathered around to admire the bike. "Wow, Johnny, that's a really nice bike!" they exclaimed. "Can we take it for a ride?"
"Sure!" replied Johnny, handing over the keys. "But be careful with it."
One of his friends hopped on the bike and started pedaling, but suddenly the back tire slipped out from under him and the bike crashed to the ground. "Oops!" he exclaimed. "Sorry, Johnny."
Johnny shrugged and said, "Don't worry about it. accidents happen."
Just then, the principal walked by and saw the damaged bike. "What happened here?" he demanded.
Johnny quickly explained the situation, and the principal turned to the culprit. "You know, you could have been seriously hurt!" he scolded. "And what if you had crashed into one of the little kids?"
The boy hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry, sir," he mumbled. "I won't do it again."
The principal sighed. "Well, I think you should write an apology letter to Johnny and make it right."
A few days later, Johnny received a handwritten note from his friend apologizing for the accident. "Sorry, Johnny," it read. "Love, [friend's name]."
Johnny smiled and slipped the note into his pocket. "That's okay," he said. "Accidents happen."
5、Little Johnny's class was studying the solar system. The teacher asked him, "Johnny, if you could travel to any planet, which one would you choose?"
Little Johnny replied, "The moon, because there's lots of cheese up there."
希望这些笑话能让你笑口常开！如果你还想要更多的笑话，可以随时向我提问。